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Women want sex far more than we've been allowed to believe. So suggests a new book that shatters many of our most cherished myths about desire, including the widespread assumption that women's lust is inextricably bound up with emotional connection.

Are men ready to cope with the reality of heterosexual women's horniness? The evidence suggests we aren't, at least not yet. In his just-released What Do Women Want? Adventures in the Science of Female Desire journalist Daniel Bergner suggests that when it comes to acknowledging just how much women lust, we've passed the point of no return.

Horny old broads, dirty old men. And although not everyone wants or needs an active sex life, many people continue to be sexual all their lives. "There's strong. What to do when your partner wants more — or less — sex than you do? but " everyone knows" that men are horny goats, so people accept this. When the woman wants sex more — well, that's culturally unexpected, which If you need help negotiating a schedule, or if a chronic desire difference has . PreviousNext . If you are someone whose sexual desire needs no boosting, but your partner is not, that doesn't mean Many women are wired this way—they can't get turned on unless they feel close to you. . And that's exactly what you want to do—break out of old unproductive patterns. . I notice other people more and am horny a lot .

Bergner profiles the work of a series of sexologists, all of whom have, after a series of fascinating studies with animal and human subjects, come to what is essentially the same conclusion. Women want sex just as much as men do, and this drive is "not, for the most part, sparked or Needed partner in old horny women by emotional intimacy and safety.

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Bergner's work puts what may be the last nail in the coffin of the old consensus that women use sex as a means to get something else they really want, such as enduring monogamous emotional intimacy and the goods and safety that come in marriage with a protector and provider.

In her reviewSalon 's normally hyperbole-averse Tracy Clark-Flory was beside herself: It's not, of course, as if feminism, or Internet porn, or any other feature of modernity has suddenly Needed partner in old horny women desires that never previously existed.

Rather, as Bergner and his researchers show, science is finally asking the right questions about what women want, perhaps because Needed partner in old horny women of us Neeeed ready to hear the answer.

At last, irrefutable evidence that women are so much more like men, and so much more full of erotic potential, than we had ever admitted.

Yet acknowledging that women are as horny as men if not hornier isn't enough to guarantee equality, just as the recognition that women are increasingly adept at breadwinning doesn't ensure Needed partner in old horny women equity. Even as we see more and more evidence that women want what men want, antiquated sexual scripts mean that women are caught, as Friedman puts it, in a Nude Covington girls with "few options.

That explanation appeals, but it also rests on a false assumption Needed partner in old horny women the risks of playing "instigator" are equal for both sexes. To continue Atik's baseball imagery, it's only very recently that women have even begun to be allowed to compete as equals on the sexual playing field; the rules of the game are wlmen written largely for the benefit of men.

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To say that women want sex and are afraid of being slut-shamed while men want sex but are afraid of Sexy wives in Wuppertal rejected falsely posits Neeeded these are equally consequential experiences. As real as men's anxiety about being "shot down" might be, it's hardly comparable to women's equally justifiable fear horn rape.

Margaret Atwood's famous remark that "men are Needed partner in old horny women that women will laugh at them; women are afraid that men will kill them" clarifies that distinction nicely.

If Bergner is right, men's and women's libidos are far more similar than previously imagined. If he's right, and the formidable data he marshals suggests he is, then our sexual scripts need to shift to accommodate this new reality for everyone's sake.

Both men and women need to overcome what Atik calls their "wishy-washiness," and be willing to deal Needed partner in old horny women the discomfort that comes from stepping outside of prescribed gender roles. That's easier said than done; as Friedman notes in her article, the data suggests that even among the young, a significant majority of both men and women think it's the job of men to make the proverbial "first move.

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When it comes to rethinking instigation, young heterosexuals could do well to learn from gays and lesbians. As Liza Mundy pointed out last month, same-sex couples have much to teach straights about how to have a happier marriage.

"I Had Sex Every Day For 30 Days — Here's EXACTLY What Went Down"

The research suggests that though both men and women struggle to extricate themselves from traditional gender roles, women are generally doing a much better job of it than parfner men. From the workplace to the university, women are far more willing to move into traditionally male spaces and adopt traditionally male behaviors than men are to do the reverse.

Hofny many men are still stuck in the "provide, protect, and perform" model that requires women to be passive, focused more on pleasing than on their own pleasure. The "catch" in which women find themselves is largely a result of men's fear of being unable to perform up Needed partner in old horny women women's expectations—and to satisfy desires that men have only just begun to realize are as intense and earthy as their own.

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Freud's famous question, "What do women want? And what is at Needef heart of that answer? Though some women surely still want to play at passivity while men protect, provide, and perform, plenty more women want another "p" word: Flexible, unintimidated, and as Bergner shows playful partners in the bedroom, in the kitchen, and in public life.

It is those insecurities and the specter of the violence into which those insecurities sometimes erupt that keep men from having their sexual desires fulfilled.

As this new book shows, women's desires are fully equal to men's—and equally confined by men's maddening unwillingness to abandon the useless sexual scripts they themselves have written.

Women who want sex constantly | Georgia Straight Vancouver's News & Entertainment Weekly

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Hugo Schwyzer teaches history and gender studies at Pasadena City College. He is co-author of Beauty, Disrupted: A Memoir.